Archive for the Week 20: Missing Category

Stolen Moments By Cookie

Posted in The Blogs By Cookie, Week 20: Missing on November 21, 2011 by Cookie Has A.S.

Sometimes I feel as if I should stand in the middle of the street and scream at the top of my lungs, OH MY GOD! Call 911 I’VE BEEN ROBBED! Ankylosing Spondylitis has robbed me of so much. People honestly have no clue, my self included, to how much has been stolen from me. My self-esteem, my usefulness, my independence and my value. This disease has even brought me to a point in my life that I feel gender less. I think people would really be shocked to know that deep inside I am a girly girl. I enjoy jewelry, dresses, heels and makeup, I love being a woman. I have always wanted to live in the fifty’s when women wore those beautiful full skirts and dresses. I have not been able to go barefoot since 1984, without excruciating  pain. I was never without shoes, even when I got out of a bathtub I stepped into shoes. I hate shopping for shoes, because I love gorgeous heels. AS has stolen the woman deep inside of me. I find my self too tired to even try to put makeup on or dress up. I wear simple clothes because of the pain that it causes when trying on shirts or buttoning up my clothing, you can forget zippers. It has come to a point that clothes have become extremely painful for me to wear, the weight of the pants hurt my hips. I feel like a burn victim because the clothes causes my skin to hurt and feel raw. I don’t know how long it would take to explain all the things that AS has stolen from me.

Anklylosing Spondylitis is like a silent thief in the night and when I awake, I realize my quality of life had been stolen from me.

The simple  joy of laying on a couch to watch television has been stolen from me.

The simple joy of soaking in a bathtub has been stolen from me.

The simple joy of tying my own shoes has been stolen from me.

The simple joy of wearing heels has been stolen from me.

The simple pleasure of relaxing in a lawn chair has been stolen from me.

The  simple joy of mixing up a cake to bake has been stolen from me.

The simple joy of looking up in the trees to see the birds has been stolen from me.

The simple joy of being a wife has been stolen from me.

The simple  joy of being a mother has been stolen from me.

The simple joy of being a grandmother has been stolen from me.

The simple joy of being a friend has been stolen from me.

The simple  joy of living has been stolen from me.

The most precious thing that Ankylosing Spondylitis has stolen from me is me.

Someone please call 911 I’ve been robbed!

“Your value does not lie in what you DO but in who you ARE.”