Never Give Up Hope By Robert

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The last 18 Months have been the toughest that I have ever faced, starting with becoming single again; followed not long after that by getting diagnosed with Ankylosing Spondylitis (27th July 2010 will always be remembered.). On top of coping with the stresses and pains of dealing with the shocking news of being diagnosed with a chronic illness at what I consider to still be a relatively young age when I should really still be in my prime. The never ending credit crunch also continues to kick me when I’m down and work has been on a never ending downward spiral over the last couple of years as a result of those overpaid bankers and recent Government cuts have decimated the construction industry even further leading to a very high likelihood that within the next two months I will also be out of a job and feeling like I’m on the scrapheap at 33 years old. I have now put the house on the market and am waiting to see what the future may hold now that I have reached what surely must be rock bottom. Hope for a change in fortunes is all I have.

It has been all too easy to let feelings of doom & gloom pile up within me and succumb to the dementors, sucking all hope and happiness out of me. Every day has been a little bit more difficult than the last to remain positive and fight off the doubts swirling through my head. When you start every morning in pain and discomfort it can be really difficult not to start everyday in a miserable mood before you even leave the house. Throwing myself into the spondy community has been very therapeutic for me at a time when everything is crashing down around me. The hope that all the hard work with people coming together from across the globe with a common goal, leading to raising awareness of Ankylosing Spondylitis and many other Invisible diseases gives me hope. Hope that fellow sufferers no longer feel as alone in the daily fight against their own bodies as we are all dealing with many of the same difficulties. This is a way of taking my mind off things and gives me a hopeful feeling and a positive energy boost at a time that I need it to wade off some of the negatives.

As a great inspiration and fellow spondy Kelly says, I’m hurting but hopeful that things will improve…things can’t really get any worse, can they??. My personal view is that once you hit rock bottom, the only way is up and my hope is that the next twelve months will be a journey of positive emotions and many challenges will be overcome. I want to cling on to positive feeling and emotions and turn my current frown upside down.

I am hoping that when I see my new Rheum next week, she will get me started on TNF treatments as after a year of trial and error with various medication combinations, I am bored of seeing little to zero change in my pain levels. I hope against hope that I can see a reduction in pain in my future.

I’m also hoping that with the failure of the business and as a consequence, having to sell my house I can turn this dire situation from a negative into a positive opportunity and use it as a sign to re-evaluate what I want out of life and find a new venture be it here or a perfect time to give up on this Country and look further afield and move abroad where I can improve upon the current work-life balance (hopefully I’ll get to see the sunshine once it a while as well) and find a combination that works well with my 2nd job of dealing with Chronic illness. I really do hope this turns into a blessing from above and give credance to the fact that everyting happens for a reason.

I will write a follow up to this in a few months, once decisions have been made and opportunities pursued that will hopefully set me on the road to a more positive

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3 Responses to “Never Give Up Hope By Robert”

  1. I HOPE from this day forward when July 27, comes along you will remember that honary brit named Cookie monster was married on this day.( we all have nightmares of that day giggles) I hope you remember always during your tough times, that there are those who honestly do care. You are never alone.

  2. mommaofthree on August 8, 2011 at 18:47 said:
    So sorry you are going through all this at once. Sometimes when it rains, it poors. I can tell you what has been my rock through dealing with A.S. with three young children at home and that is my faith in Jesus Christ. Not only does the Lord give me grace enough to get through each new day, but the hope in the future He has for me! Jeremiah 29:11 is what I cling to where God tells us, “I know the plans that I have for you; plans to prosper you and not to harm you, to give you a hope and a future!” When you find you just can’t deal anymore – give it over to God and He will carry you through! God bless!

    Reply ↓
    @brother_berto on August 8, 2011 at 19:15 said:
    thanks for positive words :0)

  3. Lindsay Cairns on August 3, 2011 at 15:35 said:
    Very powerful, and positive, for someone at rock bottom… Here is to the journey up!

    Reply ↓
    @brother_berto on August 3, 2011 at 17:24 said:
    Thanks Lindsay, only way to approach it really. what doesn’t break us will hopefully make us stronger.

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