Regret By Jackie

Regret, what do I regret………

Like most people I have regrets, however living with AS means, perhaps, more than most. Can you regret what you could never have done anyway??? Not sure about that one.

The saying is that it is better to regret what you did, as opposed to regretting what you did not do, yet living with AS regret is all about what you weren’t able to do!!

I am finding it difficult to really get a handle on this subject apart from the biggie, – I regret having AS. Yet in some ways not everything about life with AS is negative: it makes you stronger dealing with chronic illness, it makes you a more empathetic to others with illness, and you have to learn patience!!

The only major regret I can think of, is that I regret working on and struggling on as long as I did. If I had been in a position to have given up work many years ago, I might have managed to have a more fulfilling life, and been able to actually enjoy myself more and have a social life with friends.

I feel as if I struggled on too long so that by the time I had to give up work, it was sheer necessity and I was totally burnt out. I had started to really hate my job, and lost my way with friends as I was never able to go out much the last few years. It has taken me since then to  just start to learn that I can relax, that my time is my own, there is no pressure to do whatever I don’t want to and to not care too much what other people think.

Of course, I am now of such an age that nature is taking over as well so on a hiding to nothing.

So my major regret is that I was not able – for all sorts of reasons – to give up work many years ago. So that before I was burnt out, I had time to live and enjoy life, to travel more, but instead all I was doing was struggling from day-to-day to the next simply to work.

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One Response to “Regret By Jackie”

  1. I so related with this, thank you for a job well done.

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